I recently celebrated a milestone birthday and I couldn’t help but ask myself, “where has the time gone?” I wondered what fate would hold for me in the next decade and beyond. Having dreamt of running my own business for virtually most of my adult life I finally got tired of living on ‘Someday Isle,’ and decided to take the plunge and make the next decade really count by trading in my flip flops, and choosing to go all out in creating an even greater and meaningful life.
At this point in my life I would best describe myself as a “Recovering Perfectionist”. For so long every initiative, essay, work of art and piece of choreography had to demonstrate a high degree of perfection to achieve my humanistic approval, aka my pride! The damaging effect of this was that I constantly found myself putting things off until conditions were perfect. I would constantly massage the concept of “someday” the place where someday the timing, environment, conditions, finances and head space would be just right for me to launch out into that deep abyss of the unknown and find that perfection I’d constantly strived for. Procrastination crept in and before I realised, most things were half done because guess what? It wasn’t perfect according to my perfectionist standards, if I had just adopted the mantra of LIVE and LET LIVE. I believe I would have unlocked new doors of growth, promotion and success much sooner.
As a trainee life coach I am passionate about helping people discover, embrace and fully engage with their greatness that’s within. If you want to abandon ‘Someday Isle’ and take a leap forward into the unknown here are some tips:
1) Self-mastery- Your philosophy
If you were to ask a successful person who has attained rich meaningful relationships, vibrant health, financial freedom, excited about life and living life on their terms- what is the secret to their success. Don’t be surprise when they drop the bombshell, of it all being about cultivating a mindset to win. It’s the ability to think, feel and act congruently to your goals; possessing an unstoppable focus and positive self-talk. Self-talk is where you verbally affirm to yourself that you have what it takes even when it looks or feels that you don’t. The late Mohammed Ali was famously known for affirming he was ‘the greatest,’ in the presence of his opponents until he became one of the greatest. Here is a question to ask yourself- are you your own cheerleader or critic? Whenever you are lacking in confidence refuse to leave it undone. Why not saturate yourself with books, blogs, videos and materials on the topic you lack confidence in. Replace negative thoughts with positive, empowering affirmations and verbally affirm yourself daily. Learn from the best, find those who you consider to be experts in their field and ask them questions of how they achieved the levels of success they have.
2) Will I succeed this time?
Heraclitus wrote a profound quote; “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he’s not the same man.” One of the most important miracles in living are the invaluable life lessons we learn through our experiences. Many of us can perceive failure negatively -hence missing out on the wonderful lessons of growth and the wisdom we would later impart onto others. Watch your perception when things do not turn out the way you planned. Instead of focusing on the failure ask yourself what you could learn from and keep growing.
3) Eliminating fear
Fear which stands for False Evidence Appearing Real – can often paralyse individuals from taking action and moving forward. Our minds have a tendency to overtly magnify what could go wrong therefore causing us to avoid fulfilling our dreams, callings, launching businesses, finding love or simply taking a health check. Sometimes, it can be worth asking yourself the question, “what is the worst that could happen in this situation?” and then begin to explore how you could handle situations. Speak to people who have done what you’re considering doing and take notes on what systems they have used. What mind set did they cultivate to help them eliminate fear in that area?
4) Consider hiring a coach
No successful person who ever achieved their goals, dreams or breakthroughs did it alone. At some point in their journey they would have needed to surround themselves with a supportive network. A coach is an independent person who can help you to remain accountable and helps you gain clarity on what you want in life. Oprah Winfrey, Leonardo DiCaprio, Hugh Jackman and Serena Williams to name a few, are all known to have had life coaches at various points in their careers. Oprah has been known on air to encourage her viewers to use a life coach to succeed, so if Oprah gained from coaching – perhaps you could too!